Posts

8 Dating Rules For Single Dads

The problem with recently divorced single parents
is that are waiting too long to start dating
again, complaining they are oh, so busy. The real
reason is their fears, because their previous
situation was usually so ugly, they don’t have a
strong enough ego to let rejections roll off
their back.

Even if they are starting to date, in most cases
are doing this for the wrong reasons. Some single
parents think they are in competition with their
ex, particularly if they were left for a younger
partner. They also might be playing a game to
prove to the ex that they are desirable by dating
as many people as possible. In a nutshell, don’t
date for emotional revenge, to allay feelings of
loneliness or to prove your desirability to
others.

After a divorce, both parties are tented to
change partners almost every week or month and
are not in the mood to compromise with somebody.

But after a while especially single fathers are
feeling the need to have a life partner and a
mother for their children.

If you are a single father and you are determined
to find someone for a long time relationship you
have to be sure that you are making the best
choice because now you are not alone, you are
making the choice not only for you but for your
children too.

There are some gold rules to consider that can
help you to find the best second mom for your children
and the best soulmate for you:

1. As there is no surer turn-off for a potential
partner than a person who insists on living in the
past, make a rule for yourself that you are going
to do your absolute best not to drag the past
into new relationships.

2. Your kids are the priority of your life; keep
them there no matter what!

3. You have been careful to prepare your kids for
the fact that you will have a life other than the
one with them. But don’t forget to make them
understand that they will not lose your love,
just some of your time together.

4. Choose to date some women that have at least
one kid already. A woman without children may
not understand you and your children needs and
may not have too much patience. Don’t forget
that children are the best when it is about to
exasperate somebody, and in the first stage your
new date will be like a target for your kids jest.

5. Don’t leave your partner to baby-sit. In order
to keep children safe, it is necessary to be able
to discipline them. It is too soon for your
partner to discipline your children.

6. In conflict situation try to put yourself in
your partner place, be diplomatic with your child
and try to be impartial. Find the golden mean to
resolve the problems between them.

7. Never chose your mate only because she is
getting on well with your child. You have to find
someone FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD. Remember that the
best for your children is and will ever be their
natural mom, the women you just have divorced (
for some good reasons I believe). So find a woman
that you are attracted to, a woman you find
interesting AND that is willing to accept your
children too.

8. Pay attention to her children too, and never
forget that they are the priority of her life.

52 Free Things To Do With Your Spouse On Date Night

One of the things that works to keep marriages alive is spending quality time with each other. In this day of the information age, it is becoming increasingly difficult to carve out the necessary time to nurture our spouses. What with long work hours, helping kids with their homework, transporting them around to their extracurricular activities, getting dinner, cleaning up and going through the bedtime routine, what time is left?

Unless you orchestrate the time for your marriage, other less important things will crowd in and take what precious little time you do have. Pick a night that will be “date night” with your spouse and make a game out of being as creative as you can be. Try to see how many things you can do without spending money.

To get you started, I’ve come up with some suggestions to help you for the next year. What follows are 52 ideas for how to spend creative time together without spending money. Feel free to add or modify any of the items on the list to suit your particular marriage and circumstances.

WINTER

1. Take a drive to look at the Christmas decorations.
2. Play cards—perhaps strip poker.
3. Watch a movie together.
4. Go outside and have a snowball fight.
5. Get some finger paints and create your own body art with each other as your canvass.
6. Go sleigh riding.
7. Go ice skating.
8. Work out or exercise together.
9. Stage your own improvisation show.
10. Sing to each other.
11. Review or create a photo album or scrapbook of your memories together.
12. Play a board game—perhaps chess, Scrabble or Twister.
13. Go to a book store, get coffee and read for hours.

SPRING

14. Work on a remodeling project together.
15. Plan and complete a yard work project together.
16. Do the spring cleaning together—room by room. When done, reward yourself by making love in the room you’ve cleaned.
17. Put on old clothes and mud wrestle after some drenching rain.
18. Give each other a massage.
19. Play catch—football, baseball, softball or Frisbee.
20. Go to a car dealer and test drive the car of your dreams.
21. Shoot basketball together.
22. Dance together.
23. Take a shower together and wash each other—everywhere.
24. Take a free adult education class together.
25. Go to a mall and have a contest to see which one of you can get the most free samples.
26. Go rollerblading or bike riding.

SUMMER

27. Build a campfire and roast marshmallows.
28. Go swimming or skinny dipping.
29. Give each other a manicure or pedicure.
30. Go somewhere crowded to people watch.
31. Go to a free outdoor event, perhaps a concert.
32. Lie on a blanket outside and watch the clouds or stars.
33. Go on a picnic.
34. Watch a fireworks display.
35. Be creative and engage in sexual role plays. Be anyone you’d like to be for the night who is also exciting for your spouse.
36. Sit by the water somewhere.
37. Do a prolonged strip tease for each other.
38. Have a water balloon fight.
39. Sit outside and read poetry to each other.

FALL

40. Go for a drive together.
41. Go window shopping.
42. Incorporate food into your love making—chocolate syrup, whipped cream, fondue, strawberries—anything you and your spouse enjoy.
43. Call or write to someone you haven’t had contact with in a while.
44. Cook something together.
45. Spend an evening just talking with each other. Talk about the things you have done, plans you have for the future, important people in your lives or current events.
46. Take a bubble bath together.
47. Go to a free movie or museum.
48. Take a drive and find the potential in old houses and their properties.
49. Create an imaginary story together—either orally or in written form.
50. Take turns being each other’s genie in a bottle by fulfilling your spouse’s every wish and fantasy.
51. Play in the fallen leaves.
52. Create an exciting scavenger hunt that ends in your bed.

Now you have 52 suggestions for things to do with your spouse for every week of the year divided by season. Certainly you don’t have to follow my suggestions. Feel free to add your own or to repeat your favorites as often as you’d like.

The main point is not to see how kinky you can get. The idea is to keep your marriage alive by making time together a priority. It is important that you find things to do as a couple that you can both enjoy. If you have vastly different interests then you can enter this with the spirit of taking turns and each agree to happily participate in the activity chosen by the one whose turn it is that week.

As long as you make a habit of making your spouse a priority and allocating time each week for rejuvenation of the feelings that attracted you in the first place, then you stand a good chance of staying together for the long haul.

Please don’t let insidious boredom enter into your marriage through the back door. This is what frequently happens when we are busy placing other things ahead of our time for each other. You know what I mean—the job, the kids, our friend in crisis, etc. There will always be a competing interest for the time you’ve set aside for each other.

Other than natural disasters, threat of death or major crises, do not allow your time together to be invaded by any outside forces. Make sure to create opportunities for you to do things together without outside influence. With more than 50% of today’s marriages ending in divorce, make this small investment in the longevity of your relationship. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. What’s stopping you? Start today.