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8 Dating Rules For Single Dads

The problem with recently divorced single parents
is that are waiting too long to start dating
again, complaining they are oh, so busy. The real
reason is their fears, because their previous
situation was usually so ugly, they don’t have a
strong enough ego to let rejections roll off
their back.

Even if they are starting to date, in most cases
are doing this for the wrong reasons. Some single
parents think they are in competition with their
ex, particularly if they were left for a younger
partner. They also might be playing a game to
prove to the ex that they are desirable by dating
as many people as possible. In a nutshell, don’t
date for emotional revenge, to allay feelings of
loneliness or to prove your desirability to
others.

After a divorce, both parties are tented to
change partners almost every week or month and
are not in the mood to compromise with somebody.

But after a while especially single fathers are
feeling the need to have a life partner and a
mother for their children.

If you are a single father and you are determined
to find someone for a long time relationship you
have to be sure that you are making the best
choice because now you are not alone, you are
making the choice not only for you but for your
children too.

There are some gold rules to consider that can
help you to find the best second mom for your children
and the best soulmate for you:

1. As there is no surer turn-off for a potential
partner than a person who insists on living in the
past, make a rule for yourself that you are going
to do your absolute best not to drag the past
into new relationships.

2. Your kids are the priority of your life; keep
them there no matter what!

3. You have been careful to prepare your kids for
the fact that you will have a life other than the
one with them. But don’t forget to make them
understand that they will not lose your love,
just some of your time together.

4. Choose to date some women that have at least
one kid already. A woman without children may
not understand you and your children needs and
may not have too much patience. Don’t forget
that children are the best when it is about to
exasperate somebody, and in the first stage your
new date will be like a target for your kids jest.

5. Don’t leave your partner to baby-sit. In order
to keep children safe, it is necessary to be able
to discipline them. It is too soon for your
partner to discipline your children.

6. In conflict situation try to put yourself in
your partner place, be diplomatic with your child
and try to be impartial. Find the golden mean to
resolve the problems between them.

7. Never chose your mate only because she is
getting on well with your child. You have to find
someone FOR YOU and YOUR CHILD. Remember that the
best for your children is and will ever be their
natural mom, the women you just have divorced (
for some good reasons I believe). So find a woman
that you are attracted to, a woman you find
interesting AND that is willing to accept your
children too.

8. Pay attention to her children too, and never
forget that they are the priority of her life.

Dating After Divorce-Some Things to Think About

If you are recently divorced and are thinking about entering the dating world again there are some things you need to think about. Let’s face it, a divorce can be a traumatic experience for all those involved and jumping into the dating scene can be more than many divorcees are ready to deal with. The only one who will know if you are truly ready to start dating after a divorce is you, but here are some things to consider before you go on that first date.

1. Are you ready to date after your divorce? This is where you have to take stock of your own emotions and what it is you are looking for after getting divorced. Only you can really answer this question but something to think about is why do you want to start dating again. Are you lonely and think that dating again will help fill that void left by your ex-spouse? If this is the case you may not be ready, because the person you date may not fulfill your expectations, particularly if you do not know what it is you want out of a new relationship. If you look at it from the point of asking yourself what you want from a new relationship you may find it easier to make a decision about dating after your divorce.

2. What’s your confidence level when it comes to dealing with someone in a dating relationship? For many people just getting through their divorce is rough. You have to ask yourself are you ready to deal with someone on that emotional level again. One important question you have to ask yourself is are you confident enough in yourself that any let down or rejection during your foray into dating will not damage your emotional state.

3. What kind of person are you going to date? Your tendancy may be to try and find someone who is the complete opposite of your ex-spouse. While this may sound good if you think about it it’s probably not a good idea. Why? You were attracted to your ex-spouse for a variety of reasons. Because your marriage didn’t work doesn’t mean that you didn’t like some of the things that attracted you to your ex in the first place. You need to accept people for who they are, not who they remind you of.

4. Be prepared for let downs? It will be hard not to compare anyone you date to your ex-spouse. It will make it even more difficult if that someone you are dating seems to do some of the things that your ex used to do that drove you crazy. Realize that most of the time they will be unaware that they are doing something that reminds you of your ex-spouse. If you really like this new person in your life give them a chance, because what you see and think may not be what they intend for you to see and think. It is hard for them to overcome the demons of your past relationship if you do not give them that chance.

Don’t be afraid to enter into the dating world after your divorce, but at the same time you need to know who you are and have the confidence to find what you are comfortable with when it comes to dating. Trust yourself to make the right choice and chances are you will thrive as you begin your new life dating after divorce.